Self Improvement: Women's Bowels

I've always had a profound discomfort with the bowel activities of women. When I share a bed with a woman, and find myself awakened in the night, she still sleeping beside me, I am racked with fear at the prospect of witnessing some unconscious release of gas. If she uses the restroom to ease her straining bowel, I avoid the toilet for six hours to spare myself even a nuance of lingering stench or a glimpse of specks in the porcelain bowl. How, though, can I ever share my life with a woman if I cannot reconcile her femininity with the natural activity of her asshole? As such, I've decided to face my fears through conditioning:

• Once bedmate falls asleep, I will gently press on her abdomen to induce flatulence, which I shall endure.
• After a girl has defecated, I will shut myself in the bathroom, and come to terms with her aromatic leavings.
• I will disable toilet without telling her, allowing me to confront the exactitudes of her shit (color, texture, volume).