Tuesday, November 29, 2011

On a Date: Never Touched Herself

I thought less of her when she said she'd never masturbated. I had already had sex with her on two occasions and prude she was not- it was solely the act of self-satisfaction from which she abstained. For my part, I've masturbated religiously since turning twelve and as such she became a foreign object to my mind. She had made her proclamation with such a dismissive confidence- as if I were wasting my time and my eternal soul upon such self-serving efforts... Perhaps there is an incredulity peculiar to sinners that makes us scoff at the righteous, for I was annoyed, offended, and felt she would never match me in sexual prowess and adventure. How can one please another without knowing how to please oneself?

I broke off our date for the following Saturday, and instead of being pleased by one who has never pleased herself, I pleased myself... and then watched Netflix.

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