E-Mail from Ex-Girlfriend: Friend's Marriage

From: Becca Bauer
To: Isaac Coin
Date: Sunday, Feb 19, 2012 at 11:54 PM
Subject: sophies dumb wedding

Hi,
Just got back from Sophie's wedding and everyone there was SUCH A TOOL. Her husband is some Jew and the priest told a obnoxious story about how they met on J date and both like pad Thai, like that even means anything. So lame! Im so disappointed in her. She lost so much weight for the wedding and looked INCREDIBLE in her dress. Hope her geek husband is worth it. And as usual, disgusting bridesmaid dresses made of synthetic material that made me sweat under my boobs. blah.
Do you remember Sophie? 

Do you think I'm "unmarriable?" 

Were you and I the perfect match?
love,
becca

E-Mail from Ex-Girlfriend: Urinal Envy

From: Becca Bauer

To: Isaac Coin

Date: Sat, Feb 11, 2012 at 10:54 AM

Subject: Hey Isaac

I thought of you last night. You know how you were always saying how we girls will never get to experience the power of the urinal? Well last night I was at edendale and stumbled into the boys bathroom- just being cheeky I guess... don't worry about it. And then I saw them... lined up in all of their porcelain (sp?) glory. There didn't happen to be anyone else in there so I literally straddled one of them, bent in a very very awkward, compromising pose and actually urinated in a urinal!
Had someone walked in he definitely would have seen more than he would've been ready for. But I was really drunk and determined to get the urinal experience. Lol.
I kinda peed on my leg in the process.
Do you guys ever trickle down the leg? Maybe after the shake? Ever a stream that goes rogue?
Miss u
BB