Self Improvement: Caring for Cats

Observation shows that a cat's guile is all appearances. In fact, they are simple-minded and lazy creatures whose "guile," in practice, is little more than a sequence of twitches in which we humans find a shameful delight. What is a cat's worth? They divide their time evenly between blinking, shitting in a specific place, and being inside of things. The latter being a point of real contention because, as everyone knows, a tree once nested by a cat will go barren, and likewise a shoe once nested by a cat will be full of dander, fur, bits of glass, buttons, fish scales, raven beaks, dead sow bugs, etc. The animal is an actual trauma to real estate, an idea borne of Satan in soft and precious form. Man is damned.