Self Improvement: Fingernails

How I hate tending to my nails. Ten vulgar crusts, which yellow and stretch, only to canker and curl into rattling whisks weighted by fungal inlay. When at my meal, I curl my hands into fists, lest my stomach rebel at the sight of them. Were a mosquito bite to pulse and twitch on the filet of my calf, I would not raise a nail to scratch it- instead, I would do well to bear it, in the evolved sanctum of meditation and restraint.